


wish you were sober

by Anonymous



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, T for trashmouth, a stupid amount of pining, drive by changlix and minsung but not enough to tag, dumbasses to lovers, references to alcohol/drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “You know, you’re even touchier when you’re drunk.”It sounds like a complaint, but Seungmin’s not really sure if it is.That same intense quality from earlier returns when Hyunjin asks, “Does it bother you?” Only he says it in a way that sounds like he's hanging onto his very last breath.Seungmin doesn't really think before responding. Maybe he would have been more thoughtful about it if he did. Instead, he just says, “I’ll let it slide. Because you're drunk.”Because it's you, is what he actually means.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 41
Kudos: 215
Collections: Anonymous





	1. fool's gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -i am back and dumber than ever  
> -title from conan gray's wish you were sober  
> -also [this fucking clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siesNaYSoYo&t=50s&ab_channel=StrayKids) is what fueled 90% of my writing 

Inevitably, all Saturday nights come to this: Seungmin curled up in bed with a book, a little slice of escapism in the form of a manhwa or maybe a photojournalism collection that makes him feel just a little bit pretentious, before he gets a series of texts, all drunkenly composed, without a capital letter in sight. Not that Hyunjin bothers with things like proper spelling and grammar when he’s sober, but the Korean language definitely gets tossed out the window when the blonde is two sheets to the wind, which he often is when the weekend rolls around and he’s trying to cut loose.

Seungmin can’t remember the last time he’s had a peaceful night-in since dance season started.

**Hwang Hyunjin 00:47 KST**

minnie

m i nnie

ugess what?

**seungminnie ♥**

I’m sleeping.

**Hwang Hyunjin**

without me?

hheheheheh

im drunj

look! see!!!!

[attached] 201015.jpeg

Without his glasses, Seungmin squints to see the picture of Hyunjin, blonde hair plastered to his forehead, and illuminated by a hazy green light. There’s a couple making out in the background and red solo cups strewn across the floor. Hyunjin’s lips are puckered into a kiss, the red tint he had applied earlier all but worn away.

**seungminnie ♥**

You’re not cute and I’m not coming to get you.

**Hwang Hyunjin**

:(((((((

pls???

imiss u

seung m eanie

jk jk ur not mean ily and u don’t hdve to dome i can get home bmyslf i’m just at daehwi’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\+ i’m gonna take more shots!!!!!!!

He roll his eyes, but Seungmin is already marking the page where he last leaves off and slides out from beneath his covers, socked feet hitting the carpeted floor. He’s careful to be quiet, so as to not wake up his roommate Felix, who is dead to the world following a double shift at the local PC bang. But still, the foreign exchange student stirs when Seungmin stubs his toe trying to slip on a pair of sweatpants, sleepily mumbling, “Hyunjin again?” before rolling over.

Yes, Hyunjin. _Again._

Because Seungmin is incapable of denying his best friend anything, even if it means hauling his ass halfway across Seoul at nearly one in the morning. After the first search and rescue mission a few months back, Hyunjin realizes that he can keep getting away with making Seungmin his designated babysitter, even if the blonde claims not to do so intentionally.

“I don’t know why I always text you when I’m drunk,” he mumbles, forehead burrowing into Seungmin’s shoulder as the younger makes hangover soup for him in the morning. Hyunjin’s arms slide easily around Seungmin’s waist, clingy as always, not that the latter ever shrugs him off or complains. “Sorry I bothered you again, Minnie.”

Whatever residual annoyance Seungmin holds melts away at the sincerity of Hyunjin’s words, dissipating into the air like rising steam from the juk. Seungmin also isn’t the type to hold a grudge, either.

He sighs. “Your breath stinks.” It is the only thing the younger can think to say that won’t come off as more sentimental than he intends, continuing to stir the porridge so as to keep the rice grains from sticking to the bottom. Hyunjin burrows deeper into the crook of his neck.

And just like that, all is forgiven, before the cycle repeats itself the following week.

The subway ride over is thankfully quick and uneventful, a straight shot down Line 2 going the opposite direction from Hongdae.

Seungmin stares up at Daehwi’s house from outside the gates, hitting the call button on his cellphone because he doesn’t want to venture inside. The party is still in full-swing, so Hyunjin must not have paced himself accordingly during the pre-game, and is leaving before anything can really get started. Daehwi is famous for throwing bangers that rage on until the wee hours of the morning, so Seungmin can imagine that Hyunjin is missing out on a lot.

 _Maybe he’s being thoughtful of my sleep schedule for once_. Seungmin scoffs.

Hyunjin picks up on the fourth ring. “Minnie!” A deep base rumbles in the background and he can hear shouts of “ _Shots!”_ and “ _Lucas! Put me down right the fuck now!”_ in lieu of quieter, ambient noises.

“Come outside.”

He can practically see the smile curling its way up Hyunjin’s lips. “Why? I thought you said you were sleeping.”

“I can lea—”

“I’m just kidding!!!!!! I’ll be out in a sec!!!!” Hyunjin rushes to say. The call disconnects and it takes another minute or two for the blonde to stumble out, sweaty and pink-cheeked, but still the most beautiful sight Seungmin has ever seen. Even after so many years of friendship, half of which has been spent Yearning, he can never get used to the way Hyunjin’s presence makes his stomach swoop. Seungmin thinks he’s way too grown to still be feeling the same butterflies he experienced for the first time in _middle school_ when Hyunjin bumps into him playing basketball and the breath getting knocked out of his lungs has nothing to do with the impact and more to do with the fact that Hyunjin’s face is too close, leaning over to ask if Seungmin’s okay.

Six years have passed since then and not much has changed. At 14 and 20, Seungmin is still in love with Hyunjin, and at 14 and 20, Hyunjin is still very much unaware of the effect he has on his best friend.

It’s why he clings onto Seungmin’s arm so easily, intertwining their fingers as he greets the younger with a childish grin. “You’re here!” Like Hyunjin has given him any other choice. Still, his friend’s joy is infectious and Seungmin has to fight off an accompanying smile because he doesn’t want to further encourage this kind of behavior. Hyunjin is insufferable enough without Seungmin letting on that he finds the older’s drunken antics adorable.

“I’m here,” he confirms with a singular nod.

Hyunjin squeezes the hand that he’s holding, eyes disappearing as his smile stretches, bright. “Thanks for coming, Minnie.”

The words are so softly-spoken, they wrap themselves like a blanket around Seungmin’s heart, and despite the chilled autumn air, he feels himself warming from the inside-out.

Swiftly, Seungmin forges ahead because he can’t stand to maintain eye contact with Hyunjin beneath the glow of the streetlamps. It is too much like mood lighting, only he has to remember that none of this is real. Hyunjin won’t remember any of it in the morning.

_He’s too drunk to take seriously._

Still, Seungmin can’t help the affection that leaks like egg yolk past the broken shell of his lips. “Let’s get you home, Jinnie.”

Hyunjin doesn’t let go of his hand even once.

-

It starts off like this: unintentionally.

Seungmin is leaving their neighborhood corner store, bag and ice cream in hand, when he comes across Hyunjin trying to sober up enough to remember their building’s security code. His long, modelesque figure is practically slumped against the door, an elbow atop the intercom box being the only thing keeping him from completely falling over.

“Hyunjin?”

The older boy blinks slowly, trying to get his vision to sharpen and focus on the figure approaching him in the dark. When he recognizes Seungmin, his entire face alights. “Seungminnie! I’m back!”

“I can see that.” Seungmin takes a bite of his Melona, taking in Hyunjin’s disgruntled appearance; at the locks of blonde tied back in a bun, damp with sweat, and the low neckline of his shirt revealing a smooth, well-defined chest. His eyeliner is smudged in multiple places.

Regardless, Hyunjin is gorgeous.

It is entirely unfair.

“Are you going in or what?”

“I can’t remember the passcode!” He stomps his foot cutely. “And I’m so hungry I can’t even think straight.”

“I’m sure it’s the hunger,” Seungmin scoffs and rifles through his bag for the chips and banana milk he just purchased before running into Hyunjin. The latter looks grateful when Seungmin punctures the seal of the carton with a straw and hands over the rest of the goods without a second thought. They also move to sit off to the side of the stairs leading up towards the front entrance. The rusted balusters scratch lightly against Seungmin’s arm.

The last vestiges of spring have faded into the beginnings of summer, and the weather is mild enough for Seungmin to venture outside in shorts and his favorite faded blue t-shirt. He definitely looks underdressed compared to the low-cut nature of Hyunjin’s top and the way the blonde manages to make every moment feel like they’re in the midst of a photoshoot. This, despite how Hyunjin is so drunk and thirsty, he’s managed to dribble drops of banana milk down his chin.

“Did you have fun tonight?”

Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate to reply, “Not as much fun as if you had come with me.”

Seungmin smiles at the obvious guilt trip. “You know partying isn’t really my thing.”

Too many people and not enough of them sober. Seungmin dislikes large crowds, dim lighting, and music being played so loudly he can barely hear himself think. Essentially, all the major components of the parties Hyunjin loves to attend. Seungmin hasn’t accompanied him to one since their freshman year of college, when he was forcibly dragged along because Hyunjin is an expert at nudging him out of his comfort zone. He felt super awkward the whole time and watching people flirt with Hyunjin all night put Seungmin in a particularly foul mood when it was all said and done.

“That’s not true. You go to the lame ones at Jisung’s house all the time.”

“Those aren’t really parties, Hyunjin. It’s just us and Felix hanging out and playing games before they both pass out on the couch and I take Jisung’s bed by default.”

“But sometimes you drink! And then never invite me!”

“Because you and Jisung hate each other,” Seungmin points out. He can’t really remember how the rivalry started, but knows that it's long and storied, and might have even been on sight. Around spring semester last year, they both decided to take pity on Seungmin as the middleman and coordinated their schedules to never be in the same place at once. Sometimes, it’s like teetering a tight rope trying to distribute his time between both, but Seungmin manages to maintain his friendships with relative ease, even if Hyunjin whines about it from time to time.

“I don’t hate Jisung. _Jisung_ hates _me_. Meanwhile, I am too above it all to even be bothered by him and his childish personality.”

Seungmin can only laugh at the way Hyunjin sneers. “You know, you two are a lot alike.”

“You take that back!”

He shrugs and takes another bite of his Melona, letting the sweet honeydew flavor coat his tongue as an excuse not to respond. He feels Hyunjin’s gaze on the side of his face.

“You have ice cream on your lips.” And before Seungmin can react to wipe it away, Hyunjin has already moved to swipe a thumb across his mouth, calloused pad burning a trail in its wake. Seungmin’s heart skips several beats, as is usually the case when Hyunjin so much as breathes, but the intimacy with which Hyunjin is still gripping his chin, keeping Seungmin pinned in place, is an entirely different matter. It feels like staring into the galaxy when Hyunjin’s eyes bore into his own.

“Did you get it?” he croaks after a few seconds without much change in their positioning.

Hyunjin blinks before dropping his hand. His cheeks are still burning pink from the alcohol.

“Yeah, I did.”

There’s a weird sort of tension between them now and Seungmin coughs to dispel the thick of it, uncomfortable with the way his heart starts racing out of nowhere. “You know, you’re even touchier when you’re drunk.”

It sounds like a complaint, but Seungmin’s not really sure if it is.

That same intense quality from earlier returns when Hyunjin asks, “Does it bother you?” Only he says it in a way that sounds like he's hanging onto his very last breath.

Seungmin doesn't really think before responding. Maybe he would have been more thoughtful about it if he did. Instead, he just says, “I’ll let it slide. Because you're drunk.”

 _Because it's you_ , is what he actually means.

-

The following Saturday, the text messages begin.

-

It’s not that Seungmin looks forward to pick-up duty per say, especially when his usual bedtime is 10 o’clock _sharp_ and getting to Hyunjin can sometimes run him up to 50,000 won on a good night with minimal traffic. But Seungmin is also never as annoyed as he lets on when Hyunjin glomps onto him in the backseat of the cab, dewy-eyed as he recounts every moment of his night.

Seungmin listens quietly, letting Hyunjin’s slurred speech wash over him gently. He savors the way the older boy slots into Seungmin’s side like putty, filling in every gap.

Hyunjin is someone who is already predisposed to physical affection, the most prominent of his love languages being touch. But something about Hyunjin, pleasantly buzzed and fueled entirely by alcohol, turns all of his usual clingy antics into something much more, the heightened intimacy and intensity of it leaving Seungmin feeling entirely too light-headed to function.

“Minnie?”

“Hmm?” Seungmin hums in response, eyes fluttering open and close as he tries to fend off sleep. The late hour and Hyunjin’s body heat is rendering him sleepy, the motion of the cab rocking him even further into unconsciousness.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Vaguely, he thinks Hyunjin’s gaze is a little too focused for someone half a handle of vodka in, but the question doesn’t strike him as strange coming from Hyunjin, who feels so ephemeral as it is. Seungmin is also too tired to register anything outside of the way Hyunjin stiffens in anticipation of his answer.

“Once.”

Hyunjin quickly looks up. “What? When? With who?”

“Someone way out of my league,” Seungmin snorts, self-deprecating in a way that he hasn’t been in years. The bulk of his insecurities were hashed out in high school, marrow-deep feelings of inadequacy and the belief that his efforts were being purposefully ignored. It goes without saying that loving someone as perfect as Hwang Hyunjin is not exclusively rainbows and butterflies. Seungmin has become a veteran of bracing storms.

It takes graduation, a summer spent journaling every mildly depressing thought, and some heavy introspection for Seungmin to come out on the other side with clearer skies and a much-improved mindset.

Still, he carries scars.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “That’s not possible,” he declares, weaving their hands together tighter. There is a fierceness in his tone that dares Seungmin to challenge his statement, strangely coherent for someone as far gone as Hyunjin is supposed to be. “Nobody could ever be good enough to deserve you.”

It’s nothing more than useless platitude as far as Seungmin is concerned. Even still, he is a little bit pleased. “You’re just being drunk and sentimental.”

“A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts,” Hyunjin quotes sagely.

“The drunken man in question is an idiot, even when he’s totally sober.”

Hyunjin pinches his thigh. “You’re literally so mean to me for what reason?”

“Someone’s gotta keep you humble. Otherwise your head would inflate so big you’d float away.”

“Impossible. I would never leave you behind, Minnie.”

“I’m well aware,” Seungmin deadpans, yet is in danger of taking Hyunjin seriously and falling even deeper in love. “All of my failed attempts at ditching you throughout the years is proof of that.”

-

He should have called it quits when Hyunjin makes Seungmin piggy-back him most of the way home after Minho’s birthday party the following week, but the way Hyunjin’s lips brush fluttering, unintentional kisses to Seungmin’s pulsepoint makes him forget about anything else, including how to breathe.

“Stop swinging your legs. I think I’m going to pass out.”

Hyunjin continues to hum, off-tune, the OSTs of whatever drama he’s currently watching into Seungmin’s ear and tries his best to follow instructions. Seungmin, whose upper body strength is zero, tries his best not to drop him.

The next morning, every inch of him aches, enough for Seungmin to consider joining a gym because the amount of throbbing pain he’s experiencing is kind of embarrassing to admit.

How can a person be so weak?

And then he remembers the weight of Hyunjin’s well-sculpted thighs beneath his palms and Seungmin thinks, _Ah, that’s how_.

-

Their arrangement reaches a crisis point mid-way through November, when Seungmin is elbows-deep in a group project that nearly kills him. He’s stuck with two serial slackers he doesn’t recognize, which is unsurprising since neither of them have shown up to lectures all semester. Their class size is less than twenty and Seungmin knows everyone else by name.

His only saving grace is that he’s also paired with Seo Changbin, a senior taking the class for breadth seeing as how he’s finished all of his major credits for criminology.

And thank God for that, too—Seungmin thinks his head might explode if he has to comb through an entire environmental law textbook on his own and then put together a 50-page report and presentation as well. Changbin, like a champ, even offers to split the work 60-40 since his course load is only slightly less demanding than Seungmin’s.

The two are finishing up the first section of the report when Hyunjin’s texts start rolling in.

**Hwang Hyunjin 1:13 KST**

minnie i want to tkem a lowr body shower 2nite

bit like wat if i drown

**seungminnie ♥**

Hyunjin, I’m busy.

**Hwang Hyunjin**

It’s a saturday??????????????????????????????????????????

wat r u doing?

AND PLS DON’T SAY A PERSON I’LL DWORD

**seungminnie ♥**

No, of course not. I’m working on a group project rn.

Also, when would I have found the time to meet someone? You and school work take up the majority of it.

**Hwang Hyunjin**

ok but wat about the hot senior guy in ur group >:(

**seungminnie ♥**

What about him?

**Hwang Hyunjin**

so you admit it then

u think he’s hot,,,,,,,,,,

**seungminnie ♥**

You’re being annoying.

Also, send me your location.

**Hwang Hyunjin**

**♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥**

ur the best, minnie

[location pin dropped]

Seungmin looks up from his phone to find Changbin already packing to leave. They had agreed to stop at midnight, but got too caught up in writing and rewriting their thesis statement to remember the time.

It’s now well past 1 in the morning. Hyunjin’s texts are the only distractions they’ve had in hours.

“Sorry,” Changbin mumbles and rubs the back of his neck. “I have to meet my sister in the morning.”

Seungmin waves him off, nonplussed. “This actually works out perfectly since I have to go pick someone up.”

“At this hour?” Confusion flits across Changbin’s face.

“My best friend,” he starts to explain. “He’s dumb and drunk and at a party right now. He always texts me when he wants to go home.”

“And you just go to him? Every time?”

Seungmin feels attacked by Changbin’s line of questioning, even though he himself acknowledges that the lengths he goes to for Hyunjin is beyond any reasonable expectation you’d hold for a friend. He merely shrugs. “I guess?”

As if sensing he’s encroached upon a sensitive topic, Changbin immediately backs off. “You’re a better person than me. I would have just left their ass stranded.”

“I somehow doubt that,” Seungmin laughs. Opposite of his gloomy appearance, Changbin has shown no signs of being anything other than a big old softie. Seungmin had liked him right from the start, figuring the senior is the type of person who takes good care of those he considers friends. Or maybe it’s out of sheer necessity that Seungmin has grown fond, since Changbin’s the only one in their project group contributing more than blank stares during class and responds to Seungmin’s messages in a timely manner. But still, Seungmin maintains that he and Changbin would have gotten along regardless.

“Where are you headed?” Changbin asks, once Seungmin’s thrown away their trash and cleared the table of any lingering crumbs. “I can probably give you a ride if it’s not too far out of my way.”

Seungmin suspects the older would have driven him all the way to Gimpo if he’d asked, but by sheer coincidence, the party Hyunjin is at happens to be hosted by none other than Changbin’s roommate, Bang Chan.

“Small world,” his classmate whistles as they climb into his black, leather-seated sedan. Seungmin notes the array of plush toys taking up the entirety of the backseat. It’s all so very Changbin. “I wonder how they know each other.”

“Probably through my roommate, Felix. He’s also Australian.”

Changbin snorts. “Are you allowed to just assume that every Australian-Korean kid on campus knows each other?”

“It’s not an assumption,” Seungmin grins widely. “More like a hypothesis.”

“Tomato backwards is still tomato.”

“As expected of our resident Rap God. Nothing but bars.”

They bicker amiably after that, poking fun at each other in between a bunch of different topics. Changbin is incredibly easy to talk to and knows how to roll with the punches, taking Seungmin’s deference towards teasing like a seasoned, heavy-weight champ. He also isn't afraid to give it back just as good as he gets and the entire car ride flies by in a flash. They pull up to a rowdy neighborhood unofficially set aside for college students. Changbin’s is the house at the very end of the road.

Seungmin texts Hyunjin to meet him outside.

By the time they finish parking, the party seems like it’s already winding down. There’s a semi-steady stream of people trickling out the front door, all at different stages of intoxication, and quite a few entering into a pre-hangover state.

Seungmin spots a familiar head of blonde hair walking out and goes to unbuckle his seatbelt.

“Thanks for the ride sunbae.”

Changbin is quick to correct him while unbuckling his own. “Call me hyung.”

Seungmin beams, mouth stretched wide to reveal both rows of teeth. It usually takes him a while to fully warm up to new people, but Seungmin is thrilled by how easily they’ve become friends over the last two weeks. “Thanks for the ride, _hyung_.”

Changbin ruffles his hair, not afraid to be affectionate now that they’ve reached the next level in their relationship. “No problem, pup.” He smiles back.

There is a sharp knock on the window.

Hyunjin is standing outside, looking vaguely displeased. “Seungmin?” His voice sounds muffled through the layer of glass. “Can you hurry up? I’m cold.”

Without a second thought, Seungmin slides out the passenger side and unravels his scarf. He wraps the soft, knitted material around Hyunjin’s exposed neck and zips up the jacket Hyunjin had left open to show off his new top. “I told you to wear thicker outerwear tonight. It’s probably going to snow on the way home.”

“Winter gear doesn’t go with my outfit,” Hyunjin points out with a pout.

“Neither does hypothermia,” Seungmin returns.

From behind them, Changbin chuckles. “Are you both good to go?”

“Yeah, just point me towards the main street and we can hail a cab from there.”

The oldest of the trio offers to drop them off around the corner, but Seungmin puts his foot down. “It can’t be that far,” he reasons and listens as Changbin rattles off a set of careful directions. Hyunjin grows more restless by the second, tapping his foot and bouncing by Seungmin’s side, but eventually they set off down a familiar alleyway and hook a right after seeing the laundromat he and Changbin had passed on the way there.

“It feels like winter already,” Seungmin comments but it’s not quite a complaint. The air around them is cold enough to see the fog of his breath, white and ephemeral as it disappears into the darkness of the night. Despite the lack of stars to illuminate the sky, Seungmin can still make out the gray storm clouds overhead.

“How’s your group project coming along?” Hyunjin always tries to match Seungmin’s strides. It isn’t hard to do when they’re both relatively the same height, only the latter is partial to a more leisurely stroll compared to Hyunjin’s ‘you wanna see some real speed?’ tendencies.

“Same as always—just me and Changbin-hyung picking up everyone else’s slack and trying to pace ourselves before our final presentation.”

“Changbin- _hyung_?” Something in Hyunjin’s face momentarily hardens, the expression there and gone again before Seungmin can really process what it means. They’ve now reached the main road, busy and bustling with activity since Seoul is a city that truly never sleeps. Seungmin flags down a cab in less than thirty seconds. “Since when did you two get so close?”

He opens the door and lets Hyunjin go in first. Instead of stopping at the middle seat as he usually does, Hyunjin climbs all the way to the other side, and presses up next to the window. Seungmin follows after him.

“We kind of have to be if we’re going to survive the rest of the semester as each other’s lifelines, don’t you think?” He leans forward to tell the cab driver their destination, not paying as much attention to Hyunjin, who has worked past his usual pout and transitions into a blank listlessness that is a cause for concern.

“What’s up?” He pokes Hyunjin’s cheek lightly, marble-smooth skin still a little frost-bitten coming in from the cold. The older bats his hand away, petty.

“Nothing. I just think that shot I took before I left is about to hit.”

He immediately swallows his next words. It takes everything in Seungmin not to nag. What’s done is done.

They spend the rest of the cab ride in silence as the alcohol works its way through Hyunjin’s system. Seungmin watches as Seoul slides by in a wash of neon lights and quiet backstreets. All the while, the two maintain an acceptable distance apart, which doesn’t escape Seungmin’s notice but he’s also not going to voice this observation aloud. Not without sounding put out by it anyway.

He’s supposed to be begrudging, at best.

The weather outside worsens. Snow has started to fall in earnest by the time they get to their apartment complex and made twice as treacherous due to the accumulation of ice on the ground. Seungmin only takes a moment to admire the fluffy flakes falling in swirling spirals before trying his best to drag Hyunjin inside. The taller is entirely too underdressed to be this exposed to the elements.

“Come on you big dummy. You’re going to catch your death.”

Hyunjin’s too busy trying to take a selca in the snow to be bullied into doing anything before he gets his perfect shot. It takes a few seconds to realize that Seungmin’s in the background of them all and when he catches his disgruntled expression in the viewfinder, knowing fully well Hyunjin is going to post the pictures no matter what, does Seungmin finally acquiesce and pose nicely.

He pushes their cheeks together, smiling.

“First snow with Kim Seungmin!” Hyunjin cheers, too exuberant to be anything but gone. “This means we’re going to be together forever, Minnie!”

The words flutter and echo throughout the empty alleyways around them.

“That would have been the case without it.” A quiet laugh bubbles to the surface of his lips, mood lifting at the sight of Hyunjin’s smile. The blonde tilts his head upwards, eyes closed while trying to catch errant snowflakes on his tongue. The streetlamp overhead illuminates his profile in a diffused, golden glow and Seungmin admires him, bursting with enough affection that he feels like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin.

He’s so in love with Hyunjin, it’s stupid.

“Come on, Jinnie.” He stretches out a hand.

The rarely-used nickname catches Hyunjin’s attention, alerting the blonde to the fact that Seungmin has slipped into a particularly tender mood, reserved exclusively for birthdays, holidays, and moments when Hyunjin is being particularly cute. Like now.

Seungmin can’t help the way his eyes soften, syrupy sweet as he gazes upon his best friend of almost a decade.

Hyunjin blushes and takes Seungmin by the hand. The two head inside and up the three flights of stairs to their neighboring apartment units. Although at this point, they might as well tear down the adjoining wall considering how often Hyunjin comes over, even if it’s just to lounge around Seungmin’s living room and mooch off of his snacks. Seungmin doesn’t even have to be home. Hyunjin just lets himself in with the spare key Seungmin gave him the day they moved in.

He forces the blonde into the bathroom to wash up while he rummages through his dresser for a spare set of clothes. They haven’t reached the point where Hyunjin has a drawer of his own things, but Seungmin _does_ manage to find a complete outfit that doesn’t belong to him (socks, sweats, underwear and all).

Hyunjin shuffles out a few minutes later, bare-faced, before planting face-first onto Seungmin’s bed.

Felix won’t be back until morning so there is an unspoken understanding that Hyunjin can sleep over. The blonde takes full advantage of this, cold feet pressed against Seungmin’s calves to warm them up as he huddles closer. Seungmin complains about the annoyance that is Hyunjin’s poor blood circulation, but never actually goes so far as to push him away completely. He always ends up as the little spoon on nights like these. (Because to be otherwise would force Seungmin to do something other than passively accept whatever crumbs Hyunjin deigns to give him. )

“I like the fact that you’re a human furnace,” Hyunjin mumbles into the junction between Seungmin’s neck and shoulder. His lips brush against the skin there and it takes everything to suppress the shudder that runs up his spine. “I like everything about you, Minnie.”

Seungmin struggles to calm his racing heart. _He doesn’t mean it, really. Not in the way you want him to mean it._

His answer is bitter. “You’re always like this when you’re drunk.”

“Like what?”

“Like pyrite,” Seungmin whispers. _Fool’s gold_.

Hyunjin predictably has no idea what Seungmin’s talking about, and tugs at his wrist to turn him around until they are lying face to face. Moonlight streams in from the gap between Seungmin’s curtains. It takes a minute for his eyes to adjust enough to make out the slant of Hyunjin’s nose and the mole beneath his eye.

“But you’ll forgive me, right?” The older whispers back.

Seungmin’s about to ask _for what_ when Hyunjin steals the words from his lips, surging forward with a purpose that has always seemed out of Seungmin’s realm of possibility. When their mouths slot together, it feels lighter than the beat of a butterfly’s wing, but also somehow the most weighted sensation Seungmin’s ever experienced in his life, a rising pressure threatening to burst from his chest.

It takes a second for Seungmin to respond, to lean forward and press back just as soft.

A physical reaction rather than a logical one.

Because logically, Seungmin’s brain has left the building. (It actually melted into a puddle of goo before it could even pass the threshold of the door.)

_Holy shit. What is happening?_

He shouldn’t be making out with his best friend right now. He shouldn’t be making out with his best friend _at all_ , much less when Hyunjin’s still probably intoxicated.

Seungmin should stop kissing him back.

But Hyunjin is suddenly everywhere and overwhelming all at once, the hand not currently playing with the hem of Seungmin’s shirt weaving into the hair that sits at the nape of his neck, gripping and pulling him closer, so he can better lick into Seungmin’s mouth. He thinks he dies and is reborn again all at once. Everything about Hyunjin is so intoxicating. Seungmin doesn't think he could ever get enough.

It’s only when the kiss deepens to the point where he can taste the remnants of spearmint toothpaste and acrid Grey Goose on Hyunjin’s tongue, that Seungmin knows this needs to stop.

In a cruel twist of irony, it’s the alcohol that finally sobers Seungmin up.

He pulls back abruptly, and watches as Hyunjin’s lips try to follow along, probably confused as to why they’re not still currently making out.

Seungmin, limbs heavy as if he’s been tossed under water, flips around to face the wall. Half out of embarrassment and half because he can’t let Hyunjin see the crushing disappointment on his face.

“Minnie?”

Seungmin doesn’t respond.

He can’t without breaking.

And he eventually falls asleep like that, uneasily.

-

Hyunjin doesn’t remember any of it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm posting another pining dumbasses to lovers fic because Self Control? i don't know her.
> 
> **other stuff:**  
>  -[tumbling hair, picker of buttercups](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28796031)  
> -[my skz ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloncafe)
> 
> you can also find me [here](http://twitter.com/stansmola) when i'm not posting fics.
> 
> thanks for reading! please let me know what you think!!! 


	2. kisses (plural)

The morning light streams in, intrusive.

Seungmin expects there to be some level of awkwardness or for the other shoe to drop, but Hyunjin seemingly remembers nothing and goes about his business as if it were any other day and he didn’t just kiss the literal breath out of Seungmin’s lungs the night before.

The only thing that’s a little strange is the fact that Hyunjin doesn’t stay over for very long, citing his need to shower and grab a change of clothes because he wants to put in some extra practice hours at the studio before his showcase at the end of the month. That, and he wakes up on his own without Seungmin having to physically pry him apart from the mattress. If anything, Seungmin suspects he might not have slept at all.

The bags under his eyes look lethal.

_His hangover must be bad._

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in a little longer?” Seungmin asks, concern over Hyunjin’s pallid appearance outweighing his embarrassment at having reacted too enthusiastically to a drunk man’s mistake. “Or eat some breakfast before you go?”

“I can just grab something from the convenience store on my way over.” Hyunjin dismisses him summarily, wiggling his toes into his shoes before he disappears out the door. At the very least, he spares Seungmin a wave goodbye over his shoulder before he’s gone in a whirlwind of bedhead and obliviousness.

In the ensuing silence, Seungmin tries not to think about last night.

He goes through the motions of making himself an omelette and later indulges himself with a full pint of mint chocolate ice cream (as a reward for a productive study session and not because Seungmin needs to be comforted in any way, thank you very much.) He even scrubs clean the entire apartment twice, the first time pretty thoroughly, and the second time with less of a critical eye and more of a need to not sit still for too long. Because if Seungmin stops, he’ll start to think, and if he starts to think, it’ll inevitably be about Hyunjin.

At half past noon and faced with nothing else to do, Seungmin grabs his wallet and keys and heads over to Jisung’s place with only a text message in warning.

He’s surprised to find his friend awake when he arrives. Usually, at this hour, Jisung is still passed out somewhere inside (not necessarily his bed) and either Minho ends up being the one who lets him in, or Seungmin is forced to wrap around to the side of the house and use the spare key hidden underneath a watering can. It’s a terrible spot, considering there isn’t a flowerbed or anything vaguely approaching the color green in sight.

“What’s up with you?” Seungmin greets, eyebrows raised as he slips past Jisung in the doorway. He heads straight to the living room, where he goes to collapse onto the couch, only there’s already another person sprawled out horizontally beneath a spare comforter.

“Felix?”

“Seungminnie,” the Australian grins, stretching. He’s still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Hi.”

“Did you stay the night?”

Felix nods. “Yup. Came straight here after my shift ended.”

Seungmin tilts his head, confused. “Why?”

“Because who the hell wants to be a third-wheel between you and Hwang Hyunjin?” Jisung interjects, plopping down on the side of the couch where Felix’s legs are situated. He maneuvers the limbs so that they lay across the tops of his thighs, only Felix immediately flips over so that it is his head laying there instead. He brings one of Jisung’s hands to his hair to indicate that he wants to be pet.

“It’s not like me and Hyunjin are hooking up or anything.” Seungmin winces upon finishing his sentence. Images of soft lips, tangled limbs, and Hyunjin’s fluttering heartbeat appear, unbidden.

Neither of his friends seem to notice.

“It’s the possibility that scares me.” Felix looks content as Jisung is smoothing down the strands that are sticking out in the opposite direction, gently combing through the knots.

Jisung turns his attention towards Seungmin and his surprise appearance.

“What’s wrong?”

Seungmin moves to the loveseat, criss-cross applesauce with his long legs folded beneath him. He lets the lumpy cushion swallow him whole, sinking like his gut is at that moment. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

Jisung rolls his eyes.

“I go to you for everything, but you only come to me when Hyunjin acts up.”

“Yeah, what did Hyunjin do this time?”

They both look to him expectantly.

Seungmin blanches, suddenly remembering the last time he’d come over to Jisung’s unannounced—a few months ago, at the start of Hyunjin’s _something_ with a guy on his dance team whose name Seungmin can’t remember because that’s how fleeting of a relationship Hyunjin had with the other.

As a general rule, despite being best friends, they don’t really discuss each other’s love life in so many words. For Seungmin, it’s due to a lack of opportunity. For Hyunjin, there exists reasons unknown, even though Seungmin is vaguely aware that he goes on dates and has the occasional hook up every now and again. It’s just that Hyunjin is normally pretty good about keeping these things separate from his relationship with Seungmin, but he slips up one night over late night snacks when Seungmin asks him who he’s texting and he absent-mindedly replies, “This guy I’m seeing.”

“Oh?” Seungmin had said and nothing else.

He then spends the next few days avoiding Hyunjin at all costs and on the fourth day of not speaking, ends up on Jisung’s couch, trying to work through his thoughts and emotions while the other plays three tournaments of Mario Kart, half-listening. By the time Seungmin emerged and tried to resume their relationship as normal, Hyunjin had already broken things off, casually citing, “I just wasn’t feeling the relationship” like Seungmin didn’t just have a breakdown over it for nearly a week.

He gulps, wracked with nerves. Not that Seungmin expects his best friends to judge him in any way. It’s just embarrassing to have to admit out loud. “We kissed last night.”

Characteristically, Jisung gags while Felix’s eyes alight. “Oh my God, how romantic!”

“Not really. He was drunk so I don’t think it counts.”

“And you?” Jisung asks.

“Stone cold sober.”

A beat passes before Felix clucks sympathetically, immediately vacating his seat on the couch to come join Seungmin on his lap.

There are two people in his life that Seungmin can never say no to: Hyunjin, because he’s in love with him, and Felix, because he’s cute.

He lets the blonde wrap a comforting arm around his shoulder and nuzzle his face into the crook of Seungmin’s neck. It reminds him a little bit like something a cat would do when it senses that its owner is distressed.

“Sorry Seungminnie.”

He shakes his head. “It was my fault for letting it get so out of hand. And anyways, it doesn’t matter, because I don’t think he remembers any of it at all.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Just a feeling, I guess. He wasn’t acting all that differently this morning. Just in a hurry.”

“So he was actively fleeing a crime scene?” Jisung snorts, a little unkindly. “Probably just pulling a Hyunjin and avoiding the problem altogether.”

Seungmin flinches. “The _problem_ ,” he repeats with a bitter laugh that doesn’t suit him. “The problem being the fact that he was gone when he kissed me and I made it way too obvious that I am gone for him by kissing back.”

They let the admission linger before Jisung asks, “So you’re upset that he doesn’t remember?”

 _It’s more than that_ , Seungmin thinks. The searing heat of closely-pressed bodies, fingertips trailing across the skin above his waistband, and the taste of spearmint and Gray Goose on his tongue—Seungmin shakes his head to clear the memory.

There’s a lump forming in the base of his throat.

“I’m upset because I don’t think I can _forget._ ”

Jisung, despite being good with words and possessing an ability to spin stories into reality, has no sage advice to offer for the predicament Seungmin finds himself in, or words of comfort that Seungmin hasn’t heard before. The only thing he can offer is a sincere, heart-felt, “Sucks.”

Felix tightens his grip around Seungmin, probably trying to channel as much love and condolences into the hug as humanly possible. His affection is healing, in a way.

Seungmin sighs and feels marginally better in the presence of his friends. “Sucks,” he echoes in solidarity and cuddles back.

-

The three of them spend the rest of the afternoon lounging around. Jisung orders a couple boxes of pizza which they devour within a matter of minutes and then instantly regret when the indigestion hits. Reruns of an older variety program play in the background as they lay around and stare up at the ceiling, talking about nothing in particular, but still hesitant to leave and go about their business for the day. With finals looming around the corner, they all silently agree to spend as much time together as possible with each other before their schedules get hectic and it's harder to find any shared blocks of time.

“Maybe we should date,” Jisung throws out there randomly, turning his head to look at Seungmin on his right. “Fake date, obviously.”

“What in the Korean drama,” Felix comments, his cavernous voice shaking with laughter.

“First of all, fake dating is not actually a thing. And second of all, I think it’s less effective when everyone and their chaebol mothers know that you’re basically in love with your roommate.”

“Minho-hyung would see through you in a second,” Felix confirms.

Jisung pouts, heart-shaped lips made smaller by the swell of his cheeks. “Not if we make it convincing! And even if it wasn’t, Hyunjin would still fall for it.”

Seungmin raises an eyebrow. “Because?”

“Because Hyunjin is an idiot.”

“Hey—”

“An idiot for you,” Jisung amends quickly, lest he awaken the protective spirit in Seungmin. Hyunjin doesn’t even have to be present for Seungmin to instinctively want to defend his honor.

Felix giggles. “I think it’s cute how he takes anyone who stares at you for too long as a direct attack. I really thought he wanted to fight me, the first time we met.”

“He _actually_ fought me when he caught me hanging off of Seungmin at freshman orientation, begging to skip it to buy snacks and bond instead. Had the audacity to accuse me of trying to corrupt you or something.”

“Is that why you’ve been beefing ever since?” Felix chimes in.

“No, it’s because Hyunjin is annoying and Seungmin _still_ likes him more than me.”

“I’ve never dated anyone, fake or otherwise, but I’d like to think that I could do better than you,” Seungmin teases, nudging Jisung’s side. The other tries to hold back a smile, wiggling out of Seungmin’s grasp, and grabs the couch pillow beneath his head as a shield as he retreats towards the sofa.

“Fuck you, Kim Seungmin. I’m a catch. The hottest piece of ass this side of Seoul.”

Felix launches his own couch pillow at Jisung. It hits him square in the face. “Nah, Seungmin’s right. The only benefit to dating you is that it would drive Hyunjin crazy.”

“I can’t believe I’m being attacked like this? In my own home?”

“Would you rather us dunk on you in public?”

Felix cackles as the two of them silently form an alliance and pin Jisung to the couch. Seungmin tries to execute a flying elbow to his spleen, only to have it backfire when Jisung puckers up and manages to catch Seungmin’s cheek on the way down. He dramatically rolls away and scrubs his face of Jisung’s kiss, complaining, when Minho walks through the door.

“Welcome back hyung!” Jisung greets and Felix follows suit. Seungmin waves.

The older raises his eyebrows at the way all three of them are tangled together like a rubber band ball, but doesn’t comment, all too familiar with the scene. “Busy day?”

“The busiest.” Jisung nods despite being all but choked by Felix’s headlock.

Minho’s answering smile is fond.

“Are you coming back from dance practice?” Seungmin asks, just as his senior is hitching his gym bag higher on his shoulder and taking a few tentative steps towards the kitchen.

“Obviously,” he drawls, which might seem like a dismissal but Minho is still standing there, expectant.

“How’s Hyunjin?”

"Wouldn’t you know that best?”

The question is true for almost all cases, except for this one. “I’m asking because his hangover seemed pretty bad this morning. Did he look okay during practice?”

At this, Minho does a double-take. His large, expressive eyes narrow just a quarter of a fraction, not enough for most people to notice, except Seungmin has become somewhat of an expert over the years at reading Minho’s reactions. “What?”

“He went pretty hard at this party last night and when he woke up this morning he looked? I don’t know. Especially not good?” Seungmin rubs the back of his neck, suddenly feeling unsure beneath the weight of Minho’s gaze.

“Is that so?”

Why does it seem like Minho doesn’t believe a word of what Seungmin is saying? “I mean, yeah?”

The brunette reflects on this revelation for another second before something settles in his expression. “That’s interesting.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Hyunjin,” he replies, temper flaring; impatient and wondering why a simple question has expanded to this extent.

“He’s fine,” Minho concedes. “Highly motivated to lose himself in the routine today, if anything.”

“I see.”

The senior smiles then, but it’s the opposite of the fond one he gave Jisung earlier when he arrived. This one is devilish; entirely up to no good. “You should consider going to a party with him one of these days.”

It’s so out of the blue, Seungmin can’t help the petulant “Why?” he responds with.

“Why not?” Minho counters, with all the wit of a five year old who’s currently the biggest kid on the playground. “Just show up unannounced. It might even be fun.”

“Fun for who?”

Minho’s smile only deepens. “Me, obviously.”

-

Seungmin spends the rest of the week trying to play it cool and isn’t sure how well he actually pulls it off considering it feels like having an out of body experience every moment he and Hyunjin are together. Seungmin can literally visualize himself being a blushing, stuttering mess around the object of his fondest affections.

Thankfully, Hyunjin remains oblivious to any and all of this, the physical embodiment of ignorant bliss.

It also helps that school bites both of them in the ass and doesn't allow them much time outside of a shared meal once a day, mostly convenience store runs in the mornings or a rushed lunch in the cafeteria between classes.

It gets like this every semester around finals and he should be used to it by now, only that doesn’t stop Seungmin from missing Hyunjin, even when he’s looking right at him from across the table at a lunchbox place around the corner from school.

Hyunjin has his hair tied back as he digs into a plate of tteokbokki, a rare cheat meal since he’s trying to eat healthier in the lead-up to his showcase. Seungmin notes the darker roots when he lowers his head and wonders when Hyunjin will beg him to help bleach them again, trying not to fumigate the entire apartment with the smell of 40-volume developer.

Without meaning to, Seungmin reaches out to ruffle the strands, silky soft beneath his touch and wonders how there isn’t any hint of damage. “Your hair’s grown out so quickly.”

Hyunjin looks up, surprised. His face also looks hot, pink across the cheeks, probably because he ordered a spice level higher than he usually does. His reasoning is that it would Pavlov himself out of eating it so often, if Hyunjin were to associate his favorite snack with pain. Seungmin stares at him blankly, but figures Hyunjin is old enough to take responsibility for his lack of critical thinking. “I’m actually thinking about dyeing everything black. The upkeep has been annoying.”

“Oh? Well I think you look good either way. Not that you need my blessing or anything to dye your own hair.”

“You know your opinion matters the most to me, Minnie.” He is so disgustingly sincere.

Seungmin clears his throat. “I would say the same if you weren’t such a human disaster, that is.”

Hyunjin knows him well enough by now to know that this is not an attempt to pick a fight but coded Seungmin-language for _likewise_. He winks at him instead.

“That’s why I can’t be without you.”

“Gross." Meaning _I wouldn't have it any other way_.

He gets a text then and quickly checks it.

**Binnie Binnie Changbinnie 🐰🐖 12:27 KST**

Can we meet at your place again?

I have stuff to do on that side of campus today

**Seungmong**

Sure thing

Are we still on for five?

**Binnie Binnie Changbinnie 🐰🐖**

Yup

See you then

“What the hell?”

Seungmin looks up from his phone to see Hyunjin peering down at it. His eyes have thinned to dangerous-looking slits. “What?”

“How come Changbin gets a cute nickname and emojis in your contacts but I’m just Hwang Hyunjin?”

“Don’t look so put out by it,” Seungmin laughs. “Changbin stole my phone the other day and changed it himself. I just haven’t gotten around to changing it back.”

“Change mine, too!” He demands, to which Seungmin sighs and slides his phone across the table.

Hyunjin pushes it back with a pout. “It’s only meaningful if you come up with it.”

He doesn’t see why it matters, it's only a name, but is too predisposed to appeasing Hyunjin to outright refuse.

“Hmm.” Seungmin spends an embarrassingly long time wracking his brains trying to come up with something cute and sentimental, but in the end can only stick a heart emoji at the end of Hyunjin’s name.

The blonde looks delighted all the same, even if he doesn’t know how much weight a singular heart can carry.

-

“TV night! You’re done for today!”

It comes as a total surprise on Saturday when instead of going out, Hyunjin comes over with a box of microwavable popcorn and bullies Seungmin into watching Sky Castle with him in bed.

Wistfully, Seungmin stares at the powerpoint presentation on his laptop, a few slides short of where he’s supposed to be to stay on track for finals, but saves and exits out of the program at Hyunjin’s behest. The blonde whines until Seungmin pulls up Netflix and they get situated, Seungmin with his back against the wall and his lap acting as Hyunjin’s makeshift pillow while his real ones remain untouched at their feet.

The drama starts off strong and Chanhee is _really_ cute, except the amount of sleep Seungmin has to make up for this week is immeasurable. He drifts throughout the first episode and makes it through two or three more before his eyes start to droop in earnest.

He starts a conversation in an effort to stay awake. “Is party season over or something?” Seungmin asks during a slower transitional scene. Outside, the sun is slinking low beneath the horizon and Seungmin switches on his desk lamp for a little additional light.

Hyunjin shakes his head, distracted when he says, “No, I just wanted a quiet night in. Plus, I haven’t really seen you all week.”

“I missed you too, Jinnie.” Seungmin cards a hand through Hyunjin’s hair, apparent exhaustion lowering his inhibitions once again. Sleepily, he thinks it’s nice to be as openly affectionate as he wants. “We should spend Saturday nights together more often. You know, when more than one of us is sober.”

At this, Hyunjin stiffens beneath his fingers. Seungmin’s brain is too sluggish to take note and wonder why.

“You make it sound like I have a drinking problem.”

Which he doesn’t, is the thing. In reality, Hyunjin is a social drinker that only goes out once a week to cut loose. Seungmin just likes teasing him about it though—his routine that rarely deviates: party, get drunk, and text Seungmin to pick him up. “Do you not?”

He rolls over to gaze up at Seungmin’s face, frowning with an emotion Seungmin can’t place in his eyes that shine like entire galaxies in the dark. “I don’t have a drinking problem,” he clarifies. “I have a _you_ problem.”

To which Seungmin merely giggles, because Hyunjin’s not making any sense. “Why so serious, Jinnie? I’m only joking.”

Hyunjin cups a hand around his cheek, thumb skimming across the top of his cheekbone in sweeping arcs like meteor showers. Seungmin mindlessly melts into the touch. “I wish you weren’t though. I wish you took me seriously.”

His voice is full of longing, is as gentle as a lullaby.

Seungmin closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.

-

As a general rule, Seungmin almost never does anything Minho tells him to because it goes against the very foundation of their relationship, so if anyone asks, he’s attending Bang Chan’s party the following week at Changbin’s request.

Felix is invited too since the few times Changbin’s been over at their apartment for project work, the small Australian boy had been bustling around in the kitchen stress-baking brownies en masse. Changbin, as it turns out, has a sweet tooth that’s not exclusive to baked goods. 

He greets them at the door, all thanks to Seungmin, who is thoughtful enough to text him a few minutes before they arrive so his senior can stand in the entryway in wait. The smile Felix grants him is sunnier than all of the pulsing LED lights strewn throughout the house combined and Changbin has to take a step back to let them in, only it totally looks like the full force of Felix’s grin is enough to physically knock him back.

Changbin recovers smoothly enough. “You made it,” he greets and leads them upstairs to his room where everyone’s jackets have been unceremoniously dumped atop Changbin’s bed. Besides that, everything is uniformly tidy, mostly due to the absence of much furniture or decoration; utilitarian, down to the all-black bedding and curtains.

“Nice color scheme,” Seungmin comments, neatly folding his and Felix’s outer layers and placing them closer to the headboard so that they’re easier to locate at the end of the night. “Although the phrase ‘color scheme’ implies the existence of more than one color.”

“My personality is colorful enough,” Changbin jokes, which is enough to pull a few giggles from Felix and a bark of laughter from Seungmin.

Downstairs, in the kitchen, the alcohol is free-flowing. Seungmin, surprisingly, recognizes more people at the party than he initially imagined, seeing as how there are a few degrees of separation between him and Bang Chan outside of his relationship with Felix and Changbin.

“Does Chan know everyone?” Seungmin shouts over a pounding EDM track that might actually be a Bang Chan original.

“Just about,” Changbin answers back, expertly cracking open two beers using the side of the countertop before handing them over. He doesn’t seem to mind the scratch marks it leaves behind on the expensive marble surface, even though the sight of it hurts Seungmin on a deeply personal level. Nevertheless, he accepts the drink and tightly grips the bottle at the neck. Cold condensation coats his palm and Seungmin takes a tentative sip, not a big fan of beer in general, but also not likely to take a swig of whatever concoction is swirling around in the punch bowl to his left.

Bitter, with an orangey aftertaste. Seungmin finds he doesn’t mind it.

The three of them end up chatting for a bit before Seungmin eventually excuses himself to look for the bathroom. Ostensibly, it is in the interest of matchmaking and giving his two friends some time alone that he leaves and takes a couple laps around the house. But he’s also looking for Hyunjin, who didn’t make clear which party he was attending tonight because Seungmin hadn’t told him that he was going to be at a party in the first place. Something in the way Minho suggests that he show up unannounced lingers in Seungmin’s brain and if he takes the advice, please remember, it’s only because of Changbin.

Everything about the room seems to pulse: the music, the light show, the crowd. Seungmin is moving at a snail’s place trying to follow the ebb and flow of the different groups moving back and forth. There’s too many hands and elbows catching him than Seungmin is strictly comfortable with. The germs alone make him shudder. Seungmin’s not even sure where it is he’s trying to go.

“Hyung! Seungmin-hyung!” He hears Jeongin’s higher-pitched voice above the din. The crowd parts to allow Jeongin through, almost naturally, because the world pretty much revolves around the fox-like boy. He’s sweating from a mixture of closely-packed bodies and busting it down to a couple of songs on the dancefloor, yet Jeongin gives off the aura of a freshly-sprung daisy.

Seungmin represses the urge to pinch his cheeks and ruffle his hair and wrestle him to the ground. “Innie, hi.”

“What are you doing here?” He shouts, a little too loud now that he’s reached Seungmin’s side. “You never go out!”

“And you’re a child. They really are just letting anyone into this party, huh?”

As expected, Jeongin fakes a flying fist which Seungmin intercepts and throws a jab of his own. Normally, the play fighting would continue until Jeongin eventually gives in, but they’re surrounded by too many bodies to do anything of the sort. Seungmin settles for giving him a noogie and the two of them retreat to a back wall to talk. Despite being neighbors, Seungmin doesn’t see Jeongin nearly as often as he does his roommate, so it’s nice to catch up.

“Are you here on your own?”

Seungmin takes another sip from his beer and instantly regrets it. The drink has gone tepid and gross in his hand. “No, I came here with Yongbokie, but he’s in the middle of wrapping my project partner around his finger, so I’m just wandering around and trying to kill time.”

“Come hang out with me and Hyunjinnie-hyung then. He’s around here somewhere, I think.”

Seungmin snorts and lets Jeongin lead him on a quest to locate the blonde. There’s significantly less pushing and shoving this time around as Innie expertly navigates his way through the crowd. He thinks he last saw Hyunjin back by the kitchen to grab another drink. “Be honest, is he completely plastered by now or just working his way there?”

Jeongin glances back over his shoulder, confused. “Who?”

 _Shouldn’t it be obvious?_ Seungmin thinks.

“Hyunjin, duh.”

Jeongin stops walking suddenly. “What are you talking about? Hyunjin-hyung doesn’t drink. If anything, he’ll take a couple sips from a solo cup and then nurse it for the rest of the night.”

_Wait, what?_

The dumbfounded expression on his face must be especially prominent because the crease between Jeongin’s brow only deepens.

“W-what?” Seungmin stutters, but this time aloud. “That’s not possible.”

Jeongin rubs the back of his neck. He probably suspects that this revelation has sent Seungmin into something like a tailspin but doesn’t have the context to do any sort of damage control. So instead, Jeongin rambles on. “Yeah, well you know how Hyunjin-hyung is pretty disciplined about these kinds of things, especially leading up to a showcase. He wouldn’t risk the extra calories,” the younger boy laughs, uncomfortable. “The last time he got properly drunk was towards the beginning of dance season, as one final hurrah. You remember right? You had to let him into the building.”

Oh, Seungmin remembers alright. Seungmin remembers that night with pinpoint clarity.

Seungmin also remembers every subsequent night as well and evidently, so has Hyunjin.

 _I’m gonna kill him_. _I’m going to kill Hwang Hyunjin._

As if sensing Seungmin’s murderous intent and possessing not even a shred of self-preservation, Hyunjin appears from somewhere to his right, surprise evident as he looks upon Seungmin in his going-out outfit. He’s holding a can of coke in his hand, cracked open and fresh. “Seungmin? What are you doing here?”

He doesn’t reply. Just slips the can out of Hyunjin’s hand and takes one long, unsatisfying gulp. The carbonated bubbles fizzle and go painfully down his throat. Seungmin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand when he finishes. “This isn’t mixed with anything.”

“Huh?” Hyunjin looks slightly alarmed.

“Your drink. It’s not mixed with anything.”

Realization blooms across his face. Hyunjin snatches back the empty can, defensive. “I can explain.”

“You won't be leaving this party alive if you don't.”

“I’m just gonna—” Jeongin backs away and vanishes behind a mass of moving people.

Seungmin sets his beer down atop the counter and leads Hyunjin upstairs by the hand. In any other scenario, such a scene would elicit a more hot and steamy connotation, but there is anger evident in the straight line of Seungmin’s lips, pressed thin enough that they've disappeared completely. This time, the crowd parts for him like they parted for Innie, oil to water as everyone practically leaps out of his way.

When they make it to Changbin’s room, Seungmin locks the door behind them.

Hyunjin starts talking before he even fully turns around. “Minnie—”

“Stop,” he instructs, holding out a hand to distance himself from the blonde. Hyunjin pauses in his approach. “Give me a minute to calm down or otherwise I won’t actually listen to a word that comes out of your mouth.”

Seungmin practices the deep, meditative breaths he learned from Felix during his two week foray into ‘discovering himself’ through yoga. To this day, he’s surprised Felix lasted that long as it turns out that his roommate is as inflexible as a brick and could literally _only_ practice his breathing during lessons. At least the unused yoga mat stashed in the corner of the living room is a bright, pleasing color that adds to the somewhat eclectic nature of their decor.

After a few minutes pass and Hyunjin tugs pitifully at the hem of Seungmin’s dress shirt, he eventually relents. “Okay. Spill. Why have you been lying to me for the last three months?”

The accusation makes Hyunjin flinch. “I wasn’t lying. At least, not the entire time.” His gaze is focused intently on the soles of his shoes, a pair of scuffed Doc Martens that Seungmin bought him for Christmas three years ago with his very first paycheck. His mom and dad still tease him about it and call him unfilial, except Seungmin’s not a bad son, he’s just in love.

When he doesn’t respond right away, Hyunjin sighs and fills in the silence. “It’s just easier to be truthful when you thought I was drunk—to do all things I’ve always wanted to do without the consequences because I’m _terrified_ of the possibility of you pulling back because you don’t feel the same way that I do.” His voice breaks and Seungmin can’t help but soften, just a little.

“Truthfully, I don’t think I could survive it.” In this, Hyunjin is firm. “But I also couldn’t survive holding back anymore. I just like you _so much_ Minnie. I wanted to be able to hug you and cuddle you and kiss you silly and hold your fucking hand without having to second-guess myself all the time. And after that first night, when you said you didn’t mind me being so touchy when I was drunk, it was like I was hit with an epiphany. Or, from your perspective, a really bad idea.”

Seungmin doesn’t want to sound like he’s forgiven Hyunjin just yet, but he also can’t help assuring the older that “The jury’s still out” because he’s not entirely resolved about his ability to maintain a grudge. It’s just hard to do anything when Seungmin’s heart is about to beat out of his chest, a buzzing in his ear that whispers _I just like you so much Minnie_ like a mantra that drowns out all other sounds around him. The bass music booming downstairs and slipping into the room from the gap beneath the door feels like nothing compared to the sweet notes of Hyunjin’s confession, the lyrics of which Seungmin wants to memorize forever.

“If anything, this is entirely your fault.”

“Excuse me?” Seungmin scoffs.

Hyunjin presses a hand to either cheek, squeezing so tight his lips pucker up. “You’re just so cute, Minnie. Unbelievably so. It’s criminal.”

“What’s wild is that at no point during this entire conversation have you apologized for deceiving me.”

“Because I don’t really regret it. If given the chance, I might do it all over again,” Hyunjin admits, a little bit quiet but a whole lot brazen. “Because every time you came to pick me up, I became a little more sure.”

“Of what?” Seungmin asks, but the answer is obvious. It’s always been obvious.

Hyunjin smiles, pressing a kiss to his lips, because he can. “That you’re in love with me, too.”

“I could have told you that,” Seungmin rolls his eyes and presses another kiss to Hyunjin’s lips, because he can.

His heart is fit to burst, unable to contain so much happiness all at once.

“If you did, I wouldn’t have had to go through the rouse of pretending I was drunk for three months and spending so much time at these dumb parties when I could have been making out with you so much sooner!”

Seungmin grips two handfuls of Hyunjin’s shirt and tilts his head upwards to stare at his best friend through heavy-lidded eyes. His tone is teasing, but there exists a challenge underneath it as well. “Is there anything stopping you from making out with me right now?”

Hyunjin finds that there isn’t. Not a singular thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i trick you?
> 
> thanks for sticking with me on this ride. hope to see ya'll on these stayo3 streets again soon.
> 
> **other stuff:**  
>  -[tumbling hair, picker of buttercups](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28796031)  
> -[my skz ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloncafe)
> 
> you can also find me [here](http://twitter.com/stansmola) when i'm not posting fics.
> 
> thanks for reading!!


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